First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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