I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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