I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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