toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Please, let me fuck your mom
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
