Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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