do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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