u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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