Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
