rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
