I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Randomize
