he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
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He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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