last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
