Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
