Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
