I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
