i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
