is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
