I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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