Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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