How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wear drunk well.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
