I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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