Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
