is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
