My hand turned me down
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
