You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
