Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize