you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
