i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
