yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
