come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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