and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We are two peas in an std pod
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
