oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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