Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
