I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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