Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
