If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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