THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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