dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
