...so i touched it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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