Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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