He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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