You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
