Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
