The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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