So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you will always have a special place in my vag
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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