You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
