Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize