U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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