weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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