ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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