U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
