Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
