where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
