I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
