he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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