Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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