How'd it feel making her break her religion?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
