paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
