I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
