Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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