I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
