thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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