Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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