do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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