Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
