I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He has the fingertips of a God
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
