did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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